10 Tips for Overcoming Shyness


1. Acknowledge your fear and accept it as a specific and particular feature of your personality. Do not try to get rid of it immediately: even if you think you’ve succeded at first, the fear will likely return. The issue here is not to eliminate fear, what we have to do is assimilate fear, understand it, point it out, handle it. Fear vanishes only when it realizes of its inability to distress us anymore.

2. Talk about your fears and share your experiences with others. This way, you will get accustomed to your fear and will handle it normally.

3. Decode your fear and try to elaborate a definition of it. Which feelings activate when you’re afraid? Anguish, sorrow, disappointment, guilt, helplessness?Identify each of the feelings, and analyze them carefully: perhaps they’re hiding a deeper problem.

4. Find all the information you need. The most you know about your fears, the least they will be able to disturb you.

5. Analyze your fears calmly. Fears almost always come from a wrong perception of reality. Try to spot what aspect of reality you’re perceiving mistakenly.

6. Think about your victories, focus on your successes. Most often than not, fears stem from a lack of self-confidence. List your qualities, learn to love yourself. Talk about yourself with respect and affection. Avoid recriminations and insults.

7. Ask someone to help you and support you: someone who works as an observer, could later tell you if you behaved right or not.

8. Give yourself a period of time to anticipate positive outcomes, look different options and make a list of positive things that can happen, try to visualize yourself successfully performing them, “see yourself” while performing. Think positive: “I’m talking to people and I am relaxed”, “They’re listening to me as I talk”, “I’m giving my opinion and it’s valued”, etc.

9. Once you overcome the fear, share the pride of success you’ve achieved. Remember the person you were, a preson previously dominated by shyness and make a positive comparison between what you are today and what you were yesterday. Identify the little victories that led you to be a person with self-confidence.

10. Try to describe the future as you would like it to be, looking good and with problems resolved. Experience and enjoy the relaxing and happy feelings that such positive imagination produces in your mind and body.

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